Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Best Movies of 2015 For Older Adults

These are picks from AARP. Check them out!
Best Movie for Grownups Our Age - Any Age

The Theory of Everything
The true story of astrophysicist Stephen Hawking (Eddie Redmayne) and his first wife, Jane (Felicity Jones), starts out as a tale of young love. But as Stephen falls ill, the film supernovas into matters both painfully personal and mind-blowingly cosmic.

Best Director
Richard Linklater, Boyhood
Richard Linklater admits it was “insane” to start a movie about a 6-year-old and continue filming it with the same actor (Ellar Coltrane) through age 18. Maybe, but it's fun watching the boy get older while his parents enact growing up too.

Best Actor
Steve Carell, Foxcatcher
In Foxcatcher, the Steve Carell (left) we’ve known for his hilarious turns becomes the dead-eyed John E. du Pont, a wannabe wrestling coach whose delusions, combined with his vast wealth, spelled disaster for all around him.

Best Actress
Julianne Moore, Still Alice
As a 50-year-old professor enduring early-onset Alzheimer’s, Julianne Moore conveys the experience of losing her identity. Never settling for cheap sentiment, Moore allows Alice to rage against the dying of the light.

Best Supporting Actor
J. K. Simmons, Whiplash
This journeyman actor, best known for countless TV commercials, springs upon film audiences with a fierce, disorienting turn as an über-demanding music teacher whose insistence on perfection is merely a bellows to stoke his brutal nature.

Best Supporting Actress
Rene Russo, Nightcrawler
On the surface, Jake Gyllenhaal is the crazy one as the lensman who loves filming grisly accident scenes. But Rene Russo is even scarier as the TV news producer who enables him because she never questions how he gets that gory footage.

Best Screenwriter
Nick Hornby and Cheryl Strayed, Wild
Cheryl Strayed provided the tale of her 1,100-mile solo hike; Nick Hornby shaped her fiercely personal memoir into a wilderness adventure with Reese Witherspoon portraying the angst-ridden heroine.

Best Comedy
Jon Favreau plays a master chef who reinvents himself as a food-truck sensation. The writer-director-star surrounds himself with colorful characters who share his passion for authentic cuisine. Do not watch on an empty stomach.

Breakthrough Achievement
Israel Horovitz, Director, My Old Lady
After writing a handful of acclaimed screenplays Israel Horovitz directs his first film, at age 75. A less-confident rookie might have balked at taking on Maggie Smith and Kevin Kline, but Horovitz elicits strong performances from both.

Best Time Capsule
Big Eyes
The saucer-eyed waifs who populated the paintings of Margaret Keane helped define early- 1960s American culture; no wonder Tim Burton’s version of her story is up to its peepers in period atmosphere with wide ties and capri pants.

Best Grownup Love Story
Love Is Strange
The married couple at the center of Love Is Strangehappens to be two men (John Lithgow and Alfred Molina). But the crises they face could be the lot of any aging pair.

Best Intergenerational Film
St. Vincent
Grumpy loner (Bill Murray) reluctantly babysits the adorable little boy next door (Jaeden Lieberher). The two bring uncommon warmth to the relationship as their characters accommodate each other’s quirks to fill their own personal voids.

Best Foreign Film
Diplomacy (Germany/France)
Paris stands as a tribute to the backroom victory won by Swedish diplomat Raoul Nordling (André Dussollier) when he persuaded German general Dietrich von Choltitz (Niels Arestrup) to ignore Hitler’s orders to raze the city.

Best Documentary
Keep On Keepin’ On
Trumpeter Clark Terry was the first music teacher of jazz legend Quincy Jones. Here Terry mentors Justin Kauflin, a 23-year-old blind piano prodigy. Their friendship makes this a timeless document of generational torch-passing.

Best Buddy Picture
Land Ho!
One is waiting to die; the other can’t wait for tomorrow. Against Iceland’s barren and beautiful volcanic landscapes, two longtime friends Earl Lynn Nelson (left) and Paul Eenhoorn (right) discover new life beneath their crusty selves.

Best Movie for Grownups Who Refuse to Grow Up
The Lego Movie
This animated film builds upon the collective boomer experience of playing with Legos back when bricks were all there was. Chris Pratt stars as a plain Lego figure tasked with saving the entire click-brick world. The rest is pure, manic magic.

There are so many more good movies out there - Indy, Foreign, movies regular movie goers might hesitate to see.  Do you have a favorite?  Let us know.

Friday, October 9, 2015

Things We're Too Old to Say - reprint from Politico by Jacquelyn Mitchard

Things We're Too Old to Say - Sounding off on slang we should drop

by Jacquelyn Mitchard, March 11, 2011

I'll never be too old to say I love you. I'll never be too old to say I'm sorry. I'll never be too old to ask an obnoxious jerk if he's this rude to everybody or if he's running a special just for me.
Still, I am too old to keep on saying certain things. Being part of the generation that won't grow up means that I still have many friends (female) who announce that they're going "to the little girls' room" to "tinkle," and many friends (male) who clap their pals on the back and cry "dude!"
We may be young at heart. We may even fit into our wrestling singlet or cheerleader uniform. (No, you don't have to prove it … I believe you!) All that said, we could at least talk the talk of gracefully grown people.
What follows here is a smattering of silly syntax — slang that people of my generation should never utter.
Panties. Did I ever actually say "panties"? Nobody should say panties, even toddlers. Did this infantile, diminishing, eroto-weird noun come out of my mouth? Why is it still used in catalogs ... or outside brothels? Or inside brothels? Let's say underwear, smalls or simply point.
Cool. I was young when I first became a parent, and when my first child was a high school senior, I had license to use this word. It was, however, a probationary license. Now, the silence that falls on the room when I say "cool" means that it's not.
Smashed, over-served, hammered. If you're embarrassed that you did it, you should be doubly embarrassed to confess it. The boasts of youth are the secrets of age. Or should be.
Freakin'. When little kids say it, their mouths cry out for soap. When we do, it cries out for restraint. Or restraints.
LOL. It makes me want to ROFB (see key).
Panties. A word 50 plus should avoid using. — Nini/Istock
I'm like … It's not our fault that we use this all-purpose way to explain any reaction. Our kids have defenestrated our brains and replaced real language with this easy-to-install catchphrase. Of course, we mean, "I said" or "I say" or "I looked this way." So that vulgar but somehow cute Top 40 tune should actually go, "I see you driving round town with the girl I love, and I say, 'Forget you.' "
Don't say that, either.
Chill out. If you are forced at knife point to use this phrase for relaxing, at least don't say that you are "chilling." Or worse, chillin', or anything with a dropped "g." If you get all worked up and have to start chillin', please, just don't ever, ever chill-lax.
Kick it. If you're in your 50s or 60s, in a rock band and still being paid — even at state fairs — this is OK. Only if.
As if. Along with "Dream on" and "I'm so sure," this is another bit of bytes-generation banter, shorthand for a dismissal in the most certain terms. When we say it, we sound as if we believe we are 20.
Whatever. If, when you hear it, this single word makes you want to hurt yourself and the speaker, how do you think people feel when you say it?
Hot or any derivation thereof — unless it refers to the air temperature on the 10th tee or the tingle of the habaneros.
Totes or any derivation thereof — unless you mean that clever little travel umbrella, not the text-form of "totally" … and as for "totally," well, that goes without saying.
Sick! or any derivation thereof — unless handed a pencil-shavings-flavored jellybean. Today, of course, as now used, this is meant to connote something wonderful, as in "He is so hot and his car is totally sick!"
The next few beggar even codification.
It's a Snooki thang.
Friend me.
I heart you.

There. We can do this together. I'm just sayin'.
Or, are you worried? It seems that only last week we were working on a groovy thing and now we're on the verge of exclaiming, "My word!"
Nah. We're way too you-know-what for that, and the coolest speak loudest when they whisper.
Key: ROFB means "roll on the floor barfing."

Jacquelyn Mitchard is a best-selling author of more than 20 novels, including The Deep End of the Ocean, the first selection of the Oprah Book Club. Her next novel appears in September.

Friday, July 24, 2015

What Old People Know About Sex That You Don't

This is an article from the Huffington Post today by Dr. Karl Pillemer.

I'd like to share a revelation with you. It took me months of pondering my interview data from hundreds of long-married elders, but I finally got it. It's about sex and older people -- not something younger folks think about a lot. However, when I have given talks to 20- and 30-somethings about my book of advice from people married a half-century or more, I know there is one question in the back of their minds, even if they don't come out and say it:
How can sex possibly stay interesting for a lifetime?
I have good news for you. I'm going to allay your worst fears and help you to relax about the idea of sex in the later years of marriage. I will tell you the spoiler right now. The message from our elders is: don't waste your time worrying about sex in later life, because it's pretty good. But first, here's the revelation. Ready?
The reason you are worried about this issue is because sex between people a lot older than you always seems kind of gross. I don't know if this characteristic is bred into us through evolution, if it is the product of ageist stereotypes, or what. But if you think about it, we have a lot of trouble imagining people a lot older than we are having sex. I will now prove this fact to you.
Imagine yourself at age 8. You get out of bed and sneak downstairs to get a snack. Your 18-year-old babysitter and her boyfriend (where did he come from?) are engrossed in making out on the couch. And what did you say to yourself?
The 18-year-old babysitter goes home that evening a little earlier than expected, and her 50-year-old parents are making out on the couch. What does she say to herself?
And that weekend, the 50-year-olds watch a movie that involves two 80-year-olds making out on the couch. What does that couple say?
Yes, you guessed it: Yuck.
The problem I discovered with younger people thinking about sex in later life is that they envision themselves now, at their age, somehow with an 80-year-old. But the revelation is this: It's just fine when you have grown old together. You've learned what your partner is like (and likes), you are comfortable with one another -- and you're older, too. The beauty of staying married for a long time is that you enjoy each other and giving each other pleasure is fun. And there is absolutely nothing yucky about it.
Alfredo, age 77, captured this phenomenon succinctly. He pointed out that when you are aging together, a lot of things just seem pretty much the same:
Somehow as you get older you kind of get blind to the infirmities that affect the other party. And you always see them the way they were. You don't see aging. It's a wonderful thing. I don't know if the brain is wired for that, but that's the way it is. You just need to have a spark to begin with. And whatever it is you're doing, just keep doing it. We're in our mid-70s, and we still have a fine sexual relationship, it's wonderful. You make do with what you've got, basically.
And the elders assure you that you are likely to feel the same way.
I have some credibility on this issue, because I don't know anyone who over the past few years has talked to as many very old people about sex as I have. At first it was awkward, but after the first two or three elders eagerly embraced the topic, I was no longer embarrassed. It's something they have thought about a lot and still think about. And indeed, they have some lessons for you about it.
First, let's be clear: many elders continue to have sex, and most believe that it is important to keep up a sexual relationship. Although younger people often hold a negative image of the "sexless older years," research shows that in marriages (or long-term committed relationships), rates of sexual activity are actually quite high. Indeed, for married people whose health does not interfere with intimacy, the vast majority of people age 65 and over are sexually active.
And that's what the elders will tell you. Diane, age 74, speaks for many of the elders:
I think sex is very important because it's kind of the glue that keeps the spark alive in a marriage. The one special expression that a married couple has is through sex--sexual intercourse--through keeping your bond just very close and very tight. It's that expression that makes your spouse know that they're loved and well cared for and you put all the other things with it.

To be sure, there are elders -- just as there are people at any age -- who are sexually incompatible or for whom their sex life is contentious or unfulfilling. In some cases, physical illness leads to lack of sexual interest or ability, causing distress for one or both partners (and again, such maladies can occur at any age). But the majority of the elders in long marriages found that sexuality can remain interesting and fulfilling into the ninth and tenth decades of life. Indeed, they believe that young people are just plain mistaken when they worry about "the sexless older years."
As Rachel, age 86, told me:
If you're really physically and sexually attracted to somebody and your head is working right, then you should be able to feel that all the way until the end of your life. And what fun that is! I don't know whether young people hear that kind of thing. They think, you know, when you get to have gray hair that the sex just removes itself from your life, but that's not true. Not at all.
So for many, sexual activity doesn't stop. But there's even better news: As you grow older, the idea of "sex" expands. It grows to include -- and even to emphasize -- a much wider range of loving and romantic behaviors. Over and over, the elders used the term intimacy, which they believe goes beyond sexual intercourse itself. Many described the deep joy of emotional and physical intimacy with a partner of many years, adding that having sex itself was additional spice in the stew -- or a tasty side dish, as Gertrude, age 73, says:
How important is sex? Well when I was young, I thought it was 90 percent! But at 71, it's a very lovely side dish. And I do think it's important -- yes, I do. At our age, it's not as much the hot romance kind of thing as it is for young people. But there's a certain wonderful friendship that exists if you have the basic foundation for it; if you've made that, you've got each other. And it's quite nice! Of course this is a woman's viewpoint, but the comfort of touch: a hug, a kiss . . . those are things that mean I love you.
Or as Beverly, age 70, put it: "The great thing at our age is that sex is not about procreation; this is purely about recreation!"
I was surprised to hear many of the elders describe intimacy in old age as satisfying as (or even better than) when they were younger. They tried to convey -- sometimes with difficulty -- the sublime pleasure of physical intimacy with a partner of 50 or more years. Mason, age 77, described his feelings, based on his 40-year marriage, in a way I found deeply moving:
I think what happens is the spark changes. You know, initially there's a lot of physical attraction and that continues. But it changes over time so that the romance or whatever you want to call it becomes actually much more profound. It's less, what's the word -- frenetic maybe. For me anyway it's really wonderful just to be able to sit together reading or watching TV, and I'll just hold her hand or touch her arm or whatever. There's a kind of a quietness there that's quite deep. It's very fulfilling. You feel a peaceful intimacy that's in a way really more meaningful than the frenetic thing.
So here's the lesson to carry with you, whether you are a 25-year-old pondering marriage or a 60-year-old wondering about the future. According to the elders, the sexual side of things -- barring a troubled history or serious physical problems -- is going to be at least good enough to keep you happy, and may be much better than that. There are lots of things to worry about in life. But fretting about sexless later years isn't one of them.
Do you think sex can stay interesting for a lifetime?

Sunday, March 15, 2015

Sex Tips For Seniors

We Can Still Do This!
Sex may not be the same for you or your partner as it was when you were younger. But sex and intimacy can continue to be a rewarding part of your life. Here are some tips for maintaining a healthy and enjoyable sex life.

Talk with your partner.
Even if it's difficult to talk about sex, openly sharing your needs, desires and concerns can help you both enjoy sex and intimacy more.

Visit your doctor 
Your doctor can help you manage chronic conditions and medications that affect your sex life. If you have trouble maintaining an erection, ask your doctor about treatments.

See a sex therapist
A therapist may be able to help you and your partner with specific concerns. Ask your doctor for a referral.

Expand your definition of sex
Intercourse is only one way to have a fulfilling sex life. Touching, kissing and other intimate contact can be rewarding for you and your partner.
As you age, it's normal for you and your partner to have different sexual abilities and needs. Be open to finding new ways to enjoy sexual contact and intimacy.

Adapt your routine
Simple changes can improve your sex life. Change the time of day you have sex to a time when you have the most energy. Try the morning — when you're refreshed from a good night's sleep — rather than at the end of a long day.
Because it might take longer for you or your partner to become aroused, take more time to set the stage for romance. Try a new sexual position or explore other ways of connecting romantically and sexually.

Don't give up on romance
If you've lost your partner, it can be difficult to imagine starting another relationship — but socializing is well worth the effort for many single seniors. No one outgrows the need for emotional closeness and intimacy.
If you start an intimate relationship with a new partner, use a condom. Many older adults are unaware that they are still at risk of sexually transmitted infections, such as herpes and gonorrhea.

One final piece of advice for maintaining a healthy sex life: Take care of yourself and stay as healthy
as you can. Eat a healthy diet, stay active, don't drink too much alcohol, and don't smoke or use illegal drugs. See your doctor regularly, especially if you have chronic health conditions or take prescription medications.